FINDING YOURSELF

Maya entered the school, it was an early morning of the first day of classes and she couldn’t see Olivia anywhere. She needed her! Where was she? Without her she felt awkward, like she was missing something. Olivia is the kind of girl that lightens the mood when she enters the room. She has been Maya’s best friend since kindergarten and Maya has become kind of dependent on her.

Everyone at school loves Liv, as she is often called, she is friends with everyone and everyone loves to be around her. Maya, on the other hand, is just her side friend, everyone knows her as Liv’s best friend. That is alright for her because at least she has a group of friends, and although she does not like them so much they never exclude her because of Liv.

“Hey Liv! You're coming to my pool party tonight, right? It will be so much fun!” said Bianca as Liv and Maya were putting away their belongings into their lockers.

“Sure Bianca! Of course Maya is invited too, right?” asked Liv.

“Ohhh…sure! I would not forget” responded Bianca.

“Great, that's terrific! '' said Liv and took Maya in her arm and they started walking.

“Hey Liv, I'm stopping here. I have theater in this room” said Maya.

“I can’t believe you still signed up for theater class, that’s so nerdy Maya” said Olivia as a joke while laughing.

“Haha..yeah so nerdy I’ll be switching to arts next time” said Maya as she said goodbye to Olivia and entered her class. Maya actually liked theater class but she would not say this to Liv because she would think she was weird. Maya had been sitting with Daniel, a “weird kid”, as Liv would say, all semester because he was actually a nice person to hang out with. Of course that she would not admit this to anyone, or that would be social death, as Liv used to say. All her group had catagorized Daniel as a weirdo because he plays drums, likes theater, and reads in the breaks, instead of talking to friends.

Maya didn’t call Daniel a weirdo and she didn’t consider him that, he was nice and kind of handsome too. But she ignores him when they are outside the classroom because everyone would see her and would judge.

“Hi Maya, how were your vacations?” asked Daniel.

“They were great Daniel! I spent a week in Cancun and I visited a lot of places, I also finished reading some books that I have been wanting to read since forever, wanna hear of them?” said Maya enthusiastically.

“Of course I want to!” said Daniel.

Maya started to tell him everything about her books; it was something she liked about Daniel, he always listened to her and he was the only friend (if she could call him that) that was not interested in being her friend because of Olivia. She was so invested in telling him everything that she didn’t see Bianca eavesdropping on their conversation until she was standing next to them with a grin on her face.
“So Maya, I didn’t know he was your friend” said Bianca half laughing

Maya was so taken back that she didn’t know what to say. She decided it would be best to change the topic.

“Hey Bianca didn’t see you there, I was just explaining to him the homework, so I will see you at your party tonight, right? That's terrific!” said Maya quickly

“OMG you are red as a tomato, and why are you always copying the phrases Liv says. That is so fake of you! It is not as if no one knew how fake you really are” said Bianca, laughing with her friends as she left Maya and Daniel alone again.

Daniel was looking confused at Maya and said, “Why would you do that?”

Oh no, Maya thought, he is going to hate me now. “Do what?”

“Change the way you talk when you speak to Bianca? You spoke just like Olivia.” said Daniel.

“I don’t know what you are talking about” said Maya. She really didn’t know what he meant, of course she changed her tone of voice and used a few of Liv’s words so Bianca would still like her like she liked Olivia, but that was all. Daniel was still eyeing her with a look of concern.

“Look, I know you don’t talk to me outside of class because I know what people think of me, but, why don’t we eat together today? If you want it can be outside the cafeteria so those bullies won’t see you talking to the weirdo. What do you say?” said Daniel with a smile.

Oh, he was looking at her with those beautiful green eyes and that big smile of his, how could she refuse?
“Okay” she said “but I will meet you there so no need to wait for me in the cafeteria.”

“Deal” said Daniel with a smile.

The classes passed and Maya found herself nervous about spending her break with Daniel outside the cafeteria. What if someone watched them and ruined her reputation as one of the populars? What if Daniel didn’t actually like her and was going to tell her that at the break?

The hours passed slowly until she heard the ring that indicated the break. She went to her locker and took out her sandwich, walked up to the cafeteria and to the exit door.

“Hey Maya!”

Damn. She thought.

“Where are you going? Come sit with me.” said Olivia taking her arm and redirecting her to the cafeteria.

“Wait” said Maya “I am going to have breakfast with my teammate from theater class because we have to act in a scene and we don’t have anything of it and it's due tomorrow. Do you mind if I don't join you today?” said Maya really quickly and a little nervous of her friend's reaction. Olivia and Maya always have breakfast together. She was quiet for what felt like an eternity but they were only a few seconds when she replied laughing.

“Don’t be silly! I won’t get mad about it, I will see you at our next class. Say hi to Daniel for me.” She said with a wink walking to the cafeteria.

She found herself blushing. What had that been about? Did Liv think she had a crush on him or something? She was being silly. She calmed her nerves and walked out of the cafeteria to a bench outside where no one was to be seen. Had Daniel forgotten? Or had it been a joke? The thought made her sad but then she heard a door opening and she turned around to see Daniel getting out of the cafeteria, catching her gaze and smiling at her.

“Missed me?” he said

“Oh shut up” said Maya half laughing while Daniel sat next to her and started eating his apple.

“Here” he said getting out of his launchbox a smiley face shaped cookie “I bought you this from the cafe, that's why I was late”

She took the cookie and found it really cute that he had thought about her and bought her a cookie. “Thanks” she said “So, what do you want to talk about?”

“Oh right, well, I was thinking of what Bianca said to you at the classroom earlier today.”

“What about it?” she said a little nervous.

“Oh come on Maya you can be yourself with me, no need to be Liv 2.0” he said jokingly.

She didn't say anything. She knew what he meant. When she was with him in theater class she could be herself because there was no one about to criticize her, except of course Bianca but she didn’t bother her that much. With Liv in another class she could be herself and not her copycat. Daniel was wondering why she kept faking her identity, and she had no answer.

“You know, I like Liv, she is cool and all but I like you a lot better, so, why fake who you are with everyone else? You are cool, just as you are. And if you give your friends a chance they will see that too.” said Daniel.

“But why are you saying this to me? I know you would kill to be in the football team but you are not in and I know it is because the other boys would ciritze you. We are the same.” said Maya sadly, looking at her feet.

“Mmm you have a point,” said Daniel and then he stood silent for a while and Maya feared she had hurt his feelings.

“Let's make a deal,” said Daniel again. “If I enter the football team you will have to stop faking who you are to everyone and start being the Maya I know. Deal?”

She thought about it for a moment. Why was he being so nice to her?
“But why would you do that for me?” she said

He simply smiled. “Let’s say I like it when you are yourself and it’d feel selfish to be the only one enjoying that side of you”

“Now, will you tell me why you are not yourself or do I have to guess?” he said.

“Haha…well it started when Liv and I started high school, everyone seemed to like her better and she was well known in a few days. So, I supposed that everyone would like me more if I was more like her and less like myself. I didn't notice when I started acting like her, I just started.” she said.

“Well, I think you don’t have to be her to be liked and I think that as your best friend she thinks the same. '' said Daniel.

Maya turned to look at him, he was so close she could feel his breath in her face, she wasn’t thinking when she led in and kissed him. It was brief before she pulled away, ashamed he was now going to hate her forever, but she was wrong. She saw his face and he just chuckled before putting a hand to her face and pulling her closer for another kiss.


The break was over and Daniel and Maya entered the cafeteria a little too close talking and laughing. She could see the eyes of everyone on them, she could guess what they were thinking: “What is Liv’s best friend doing talking with that weirdo?” But she didn’t care, it was not Liv’s best friend that had entered the room, it had been Maya.

She could see Liv’s face lightening with pride as she walked really close to Daniel and she realized she didn’t feel ashamed of acting like herself. She was feeling like a burden had lifted from her back and she felt lighter now. It was a little embarrassing explaining to Liv the truth about the whole copying of personality to fit in the group but Liv simply hugged Maya and told her that she was happy she was finally being herself and that she would always like her no matter what.